Random Thoughts on Rollercising, Leggings and Amy Poehler

Random Thoughts on Rollercising, Leggings and Amy Poehler

I need to have more fun. I spend too much time on our couch, especially in the winter. Our couch has a butt dent – my butt dent. I wouldn’t describe my relationship to my couch as a fairytale exactly, but like Cinderella’s foot, mine is the only butt that will fit.

I need to get out more.

It was much easier to exercise when we were kids. Maybe because we didn’t call it exercising. It’s not like we got home from school and said, “Sorry, girls, I can’t play Barbies today. I need to get in 45 minutes of kickball or this Pudding Pop is gonna go straight to my thighs.” We played kickball because we wanted to.

(Well, some kids did. I actually hated kickball. I’m not coordinated enough to run then kick a ball. But you get the idea.)

Roller skating is a great example of this. It was exercise. It just didn’t feel like exercise. I used to roller skate all the time when I was a kid and never once did it cross my mind that I was getting a great cardiovascular workout. It was just something I could do while listening to “Thriller.”

I loved everything about roller skating – the Limbo, the Dice Game, the additional challenge the Hokey-Pokey presented when done on wheels. I even had my own pair of skates. They were white with blue wheels and had Smurfs on them.

Just thinking about it makes me happy inside. I would gladly roller skate three to four times a week. Do grownups roller skate? Without their kids? Like as exercise?

I know some women do roller derby. I’m not talking about that. I am the least competitive person on the planet. If I am winning at Monopoly and someone lands on one of my properties, I will look the other way just to level the playing field. I am not roller derby material. I think what I’m talking about is roller dancing.

We took our daughter to a roller skating party before Christmas, and when the song “Hello” came on, I had the overwhelming urge to glide around the rink like Olivia Newton-John in Xanadu. I can’t even skate backward, but in that moment, I was the closest I will ever get to being Nancy Kerrigan.

I want to more of this,” I thought to myself.

So, maybe roller skating will be my thing.

Ah, forget it. It’s too cold to go outside.

* I was in such a bad mood the other night, I put myself to bed at 7 p.m. I was stressed out and throwing little temper tantrums all day like a toddler. So, after dinner I made myself go upstairs and get in bed. I like to think of it as protecting my young from myself. I picked up books then tossed them on the ground. I looked at websites and rolled my eyes. I laid there fuming and stewing about all the little nothings that felt like huge somethings. Then, finally, I wore myself out. I watched an episode of Orange in the New Black and fell asleep. When I woke up the next day, I felt better.

* I never understood the appeal of leggings until my mother got me a couple pair for Christmas. They are so light and comfortable it begs the question, “Why am I wearing normal pants all the time?” I feel like prancing around the house like a lord-a-leaping. I try to find surfaces to do lunges on. Oooh…I wonder if they would look good with roller skates….

* I am re-reading Yes, Please by Amy Poehler. I read it a while back and loved it so much my “fantastically awesome” and “insightful” daughter (she paid me heavily for that endorsement) got it for me for my birthday. At the time I had all these other books I “needed” to read so I put this one at the bottom of my pile. Every night, I would force myself to pick up one of the other books, groaning inwardly like they were college English assignments. Six more books until I can read Amy … five more books until I can read Amy. Finally I told myself to quit being stupid. I’m not in college. I can read what I want. So I put the other books in the library basket and read Amy’s book. And it is just as wonderful as I remembered it.

 

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